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PANDEMIC POTTY TRAINING

No plan. No method. Put on the underpants and good luck.


I have to be honest. I don't think I'm going to survive this if it goes on until June. Or at the very least my child is going to need therapy for the rest of his life. I feel terrible for him. In an instant he went from having sweet, patient teachers and a bunch of little friends, to only having mean mommy, busy daddy, a boring infant sibling and a cat. All day. Every day. Nothing else. This sucks for him. It sucks for all of us. It's a very stressful situation. And just because why not add more stress in my life, besides having to be a full-time stay-at-home mom to Sydney and Nathan, a 2s teacher to Nathan, and work from home, I thought hey, let's also potty train! If I'm going to be in this house indefinitely I might as well use this time productively, right? They say if you're going to potty train, you should be prepared to not leave your house for a while. And well, whaddya know, it looks like I'm in luck.


I might be in this house for so long, Sydney will be peeing on the potty too.

Did I really think he was ready for this? No. Not at all. But if not now, when? By the time we're allowed back into the world, he'll have been potty trained for months. If you think about it, it's really the perfect time. Logically, not psychologically. I don't have to worry about trying to find public restrooms everywhere we go, potentially ruining the car seat if he has an accident, or carrying around insane amounts of extra clothing. Where are we going? Nowhere. We're housebound, and I have a stockpile of toilet paper, paper towels, and cleaning supplies like disinfectants in case he has an accident. It's truly like I was preparing for this all along.



If you're not potty training during a global pandemic, are you actually living?

Well Day 1 was a shitshow. Literally. He pooped on the floor. Twice. Day 2 we put on the underpants and he loved them. Loved them so much that he refused to pee in them and instead held in his pee all morning. I kept asking "Nate are you wet?" and he kept saying NO! But every time we went to the potty he didn't pee. Then I put the diaper on him for nap time and he peed so much it went through the diaper and all over his bed. Day 3, I thought we were finally getting the hang of things. I realized that he had no concept of what I was actually asking him to do. How would he? He always just went in his pants. He didn't even comprehend what he was doing. Never saw it. Never understood what was going on. So when I'd ask him to sit on the potty and pee, he'd sit down, stand up 2 seconds later and say "I DID IT!" but he hadn't done anything. Because he didn't know what he was supposed to do... and also he has the attention span of a flea. So I explained to him that he had to "make the yellow water" and I let him watch me do it. At that moment something clicked because that trip resulted in some peeing and then we were off the races.


By off to the races, I mean off to the bathroom every 10 seconds. Nathan has now realized that since he gets candy or presents every time he pees, the more he pees, the more stuff he gets. So we go to the bathroom to dribble out pee constantly. And then he promptly asks for his present. All he wants to do now is pee for presents. Last night he told me he could not eat dinner because he had to go more on the potty to get more presents. At least he's enthusiastic about it! But I'm willing to do whatever works and so far he is doing a great job!! We've only had 1 accident because he was busy watching his iPad and I forgot to ask him if he had to go. Before that I was never concerned that he wouldn't pee on the potty. Now I'm back to a constant, cautious state of panic. About literally everything going on in life. This morning he went upstairs and came down soaking wet. Like top to bottom, shirt totally drenched. Alarmed I asked, Nathan did you pee? He responded, no mommy, I don't pee in my underwear... I washed my hands! Clearly we have some other things to work on...

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