• J Mess


Clothing is clothing isn't it? This time there are no rules.

During the last trimester when I was pregnant with Nathan, a package arrived everyday of something that I realized I desperately needed but turns out I absolutely did not. I had consulted a million online "must-have baby lists" and spent hours scouring the BuyBuy Baby and Target websites. It was so hard to literally not buy everything because it was all so darn cute and teeny tiny and $8. I was busy stressing myself out about how much clothing I needed and what size to get. Newborn size or 0-3? Is newborn less than zero? How can you be less than zero? And if I had enough mittens and hats, that he never once wore. Everyone kept telling me well, you need so much clothing because they spit-up on it, they poop and pee on it, they wear like 5 outfits a day. And then in the same breath, well, don't get too much clothing because they wear it once and then they grow out of it. So should I get a lot of clothing or no clothing?

I doubt the fashion police are coming for my newborn. But people take this really seriously.

And yet I still let it plague me. What would he come home from the hospital wearing? How do you even put clothing on a tiny human? Maybe I should've bought all the snap front outfits and none of the over-the-head stuff? Snap front versus zipper? These decisions dominated my days. I was so desperate not to do anything wrong, not even the tiniest thing like buy the wrong kind of clothes. So I bought tons of adorable one pieces and footies and started returning all of the over-the-head outfits because I was absolutely anti stuffing his head through a shirt. The only other clothing we had in the house were the hand-me-downs we got from my sister-in-law and brother-in-law.

After many rounds of buying and returning and second guessing, I felt great about my choices. Comfy. Easy breezy. No shoving a tiny newborn skull into and out of a shirt. No pants on and off every diaper change. No uncomfortable layers. No socks to lose. Everything all in one!

Until the first day my baby nurse brought Nathan downstairs dressed in a bodysuit, jeans, and a cardigan from the hand me down pile. A cardigan. Where was he going? A job interview? A date? He was 8 days old. I didn't know how to react. Was I supposed to be dressing him like this? I hadn't purchased anything remotely like this for him. We weren't even leaving the house! Why was he so dressed up?! Then when it was time for him to go to sleep she changed him into pajamas. Or what I was calling clothing. Oh wait, so those footie one-piece things are actually considered pajamas? Not clothing? Basically I had bought my son an entire wardrobe consisting of only pajamas and zero clothing. Maybe he could pass for athleisure?

This time I am prepared. Prepared to not care at all.

This time around, I've barely purchased anything. I wander around Buy Buy Baby desperately looking for things to buy, but why bother when I have most of it already. People keep asking me what I need and if I had registered and I feel terrible that I absolutely cannot come up with anything. This kid is gonna wear all of Nathan's unisex grey pajamas, hand-me-downs from friends with girls, or gifts. And that's that. Second kid syndrome means no stressing about outfits or what she was coming home wearing. I've really learned to let it all go. I have to keep 2 kids alive now, I'll definitely be wearing pajamas all day everyday so I guess so will they...


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