• J Mess

MR. INDEPENDENT

It would be great if you could actually do everything yourself kid, then I could go take a nap.


I'm a very independent person. It's something I'm most proud of that my parents instilled in me or I figured out on my own, or maybe a little bit of both. If I want or need something, I go and get it myself. I don't generally rely on or wait for anyone else to do things for me. Obviously this also means I have trouble asking for help when I need it, which these days is more often, but we're working on that. I tell my husband all of the time, "if you're hungry, go and get yourself some food. You're a grown man adult human." You don't need a formal notarized invitation from me to eat something. I can't take care of everything for everybody. I'm about to have a second baby and already slave to one small human, but Nathan apparently no longer needs me.


Nathan is going through his "I will do it myself" phase otherwise known as "NO MAMA!!!!" and is extremely determined. I say determined because I'm trying to avoid saying stubborn, but in reality it's both. He's decided that he wants to do everything on his own. Wants to put his own shoes on. Yet he is incapable. Wants to take the straw out of the juice box and then attempt to put it back into the tiny hole. Yet cannot accomplish that. Wants to buckle and unbuckle himself into his car seat and high chair. Yet does not have the dexterity. I give the kid credit and plenty of chances to at least try. But then at some point you gotta just let mom do it munchkin because we don't have all day and this is way more frustrating for me than it is for you.


His most important goal is to feed himself now, which is wonderful, however he hasn't quite figured out how to properly use the utensils and absolutely refuses to accept help. He uses a spoon like a fork and stabs into things instead of allowing me to teach him proper scooping. It's actually hilarious to watch, until you have to clean up the colossal mess. With apple sauce or yogurt he somehow gets a little bit to stick to the spoon (and the rest all over himself), but with other things, it's a total no-go. One night I suffered through him unsuccessfully attempting to eat jell-o for 45 minutes. I cringed while he continuously stabbed at it and came up with literally nothing, periodically asking "can mommy help you?" NO. NO MAMA! "But Nathan, nothing is going into your mouth. Do you want to try to hold the spoon differently? Can mommy show you how to scoop?" NO. NO MAMA! "Okay enjoy your eating of nothing."




I guess jell-o wasn't really a fair item to choose to let him prove his spoon proficiency. I kinda set him up to fail on that one.

He also now insists that I put it everything on his tray. Meaning "unhand my things mama, I will do this myself!" He looks at me and points at the tray and says "put heeya." I have to put his milk, or yogurt or cookies exactly where he demands them and he will do with it what he pleases. If not, I will never hear the end of it. One morning he yelled at me for 10 minutes straight because he wanted his blueberries... in a bowl. I had just put them on his tray, which apparently has become unacceptable. He is not an animal and he demands to eat now with flatware and place settings. He knows what he wants now and is gonna figure it out on his own without my help, and clearly I'm the one who needs to get a clue as to who's really in charge here.


When we went to pick Nathan up on the last day of school, he was running around yelling and instructing everyone what to do. The teacher mentioned that Nathan is the boss and the first thing I thought was, better start saving up for the Bell leadership conference because we definitely have another master/commander/attacker in the family...

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