• J Mess

MELEE AT THE MESSIERS

The hunter becomes the hunted.


I follow a lot of animal rescue organizations on Instagram because I am a bleeding heart. Remember, right after Nathan was born, I trapped and found homes for 4 stray cats that were living outside my house. I mean because honestly, it's not like I had anything else to do with a new baby at home right? My furry baby, Bailey, is the feline love of my life. As the story goes, two of my friends, Mara and Rachel, came across a stray kitty, sitting outside a pizza place on 31st and Lexington Avenue, found him to be the sweetest cat, and called a local rescue to come and get him. The rest is history, because he is my #fureverfamily.



When I began dating my husband, I didn't tell him about Bailey until our second date. Cat allergies are common and some people (weirdos) don't like cats, so I wanted to wait until I was sure he really liked me before I let the cat out of the bag. SURPRISE! None of that mattered because Bailey instantly fell in love with Josh, a self-proclaimed dog person, and I'd even go as far as to say they both like each other more than me. But Nathan, well, not so much.


I constantly see stories on my Instagram feed about pets that are given up because the family decided to have a baby. I won't even comment on that because I can already feel myself getting extremely angry just writing those words. Bailey is my family and I always said when I was pregnant with Nathan that he better not be allergic to cats because unfortunately he'd have to find somewhere else to live! I kid, I kid. I said this while I shoved my pregnant face into Bailey's fur every night, like that would help prevent a possible allergy. The good news is Nathan is not allergic. The bad news is he desperately wants to be best friends with his cat, and Bailey hasn't exactly embraced him with open paws.


The cat and mouse games in our house are epic now that Nathan is on the move. However, the cat is not the cat in this game. He's the one relentlessly fleeing, positively petrified, and under a constant state of attack. And throughout all this torture, he has never once showed any aggression toward Nathan. He simply runs away. We started repeating early on, "we pet kitty with an open hand, we don't grab kitty's fur or tail." I'm confident when he can process language a little better, he will get it. But right now his overwhelming excitement (read: insanity) to see, touch, and play with Bailey is a little more than my quiet, sleepy, mush cat can take. So we've tried to limit their engagements, although I do appreciate the additional exercise the lazy, fat cat is getting by having to run all over the house to escape Nathan's advances. Pretty soon he’ll be in fighting shape and might actually stand a chance in their upcoming main showdown being billed as the MELEE at THE MESSIERS. It will be a cat fight for the ages.


In this corner weighing in at 22 pounds 6 ounces, the lightweight defending champion of the world, Nathan "The Noodle" Messier.


The crowd goes wild.


And in this corner weighing in at probably the same, the constant cat challenger, Bailey "Scooter" Cat Feinberg-Messier.

Let's get ready to rumble! And there's the bell!


Noodle comes out aggressively, screaming and barreling forward in a quick army crawl. This kid doesn't waste any time. He's headed straight toward Scooter, who seems to have been laying down in his corner. The cat's gonna need to get his energy up if he's going to stand a chance against this insane toddler. Ohh looks like his ears have just gone back. He's not sure what to do, scanning for escape routes, backing up slowly. He looks terrified. What a fraidy cat. Noodle is closing fast and within an arms length now. Can you believe how fast this kid is? He reaches out. OH, he smacks the cat! Smackdown! Did you see that? Smacked him right on the head. Oh man. Scooter's gotta get out of there immediately. He's totally against the ropes. He waits, he finds his window, and wow, he jumps right over Noodle and skeddaddles up the stairs to safety. Ladies and gentleman, it appears Scooter has forfeited! The Noodle wins, again.


The next round begins as soon as Bailey comes back downstairs and HBO will definitely be banging down my door to broadcast this rematch...

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