• J Mess

HANDS TO YOURSELF

This is not how I planned my Friday to go.


Having kids means constantly having your best laid plans blown to smithereens. Whether it's going away on a lovely family vacation or just a quiet Friday to do some work, cook some food, cut up some fruit and take a shower, somehow your child will always find a way to throw a wrench into your plan. It's not his fault. It just always seems to happen at the worst time. Not that there's really any good time for your child to get sick. But maybe preferably when there's another adult around and I don't have to deal with this all by myself. While 300 months pregnant.


I was so looking forward to my uneventful day. I went to the supermarket to get last minute holiday items. Then I was going to cut up some honeydew and make sweet potatoes for Nathan, do some work, take a long shower, put away the laundry, and relax. Until school called at 10am. Something was up with Nathan. He didn't have a fever, but he wasn't acting like himself. He was pulling on his ear and hysterically crying. I paused for a minute to mourn for my day, then said "okay I'll come get him." After a quick visit to the doctor the verdict I had already suspected was confirmed. Ear infection. Color me surprised.


Nathan's reaction to the doctor saying "this one is infected."? "PINK MEDISHINNNN!!!!!!!!" This kid loves his antibiotics. Should I be worried he's faking ear infections to get the goods?

I didn't know whether to be embarrassed or bust out laughing at the utter joy spilling out of my child that he was going to be prescribed amoxicillin. They must think we really deprive him of treats in our house. He's had amoxicillin what seems like 1,000 times, but for some reason my husband has always been with me when we pick it up at the pharmacy, or Nathan was just so small that he was contained in the stroller if I had to go alone. So when I realized that I had no choice but to pick up his medicine immediately at CVS and I was by myself, this presented a problem. When we were on vacation with my parents and took Nathan into CVS to get his medicine, my Dad ended up chasing him down all of the aisles desperately attempting to keep him from seeing all the pacifiers in the baby aisle or tearing everything off all of the shelves. This was going to be a nightmare. Definitely not how I thought my day was going to go.


I tried to stall him in the car as long as possible in the hopes that the medicine would be ready for pickup when we arrived. Then we discussed how he was going to be my little helper to get his beloved pink medicine, but we couldn't touch anything else in the store. Yea right who was I kidding. Within seconds of entering the store he was racing down the makeup aisle running his hands across all of the lip glosses. Then he spotted a display of furry halloween cat masks and unicorn headbands and made a beeline for those. When I caught up with him and asked him nicely not to touch, he began grabbing nearby pressed face powders and throwing them onto the floor. Those promptly opened when they hit the ground, as I struggled to bend over my giant belly, pick them up and put them back together as fast as he was tossing them down. Finally after frantically shoving all of the powders back on the rack and grabbing both my child's hands, I decided to pick him up to make our way the next 10 feet to the pharmacy counter without further incident. Except he immediately began screaming "WALLKKKKK, WALK!!!" and kicking me in the stomach, and when I put him down, he swiped all the antacids onto the floor like a one tiny man wrecking crew.


Somehow when we got to the back of the store I convinced him to sit cutely and quietly in a chair next to where all the old people were getting their flu shots. I checked the status of our prescription as Nathan was telling some old lady about how he was getting "pink medishin" and that I was his mommy. She thought he was just adorable until she realized he had the attention span of a gnat and was now wiggling out of the chair to run around and wreak havoc. Meanwhile the pharmacist told me they'd try to put a rush on the order. Yup well if you know what's good for you, you'll hurry it up before everything in this store is on the floor. By the time they finally called my name, we had touched every single bottle of hydrogen peroxide, tried to rip open 3 packages of hydrocortisone cream, and stuck our finger through the plastic packaging on every case of bottled water. The old ladies no longer thought we were cute and instead were eyeing us scornfully and probably thinking "this woman wanted another baby??"...


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