• J Mess

FREE SLOTH

It's a sin to be this adorable.


The baby swing is my best friend. Seriously it's amazing. It was like baby crack for Nathan and it's once again proving it's worth with Sydney. Worth of $0 since I got it for free on my town's Freecycle group and even though it literally eats about 600 D batteries a week, it is priceless to me. Sydney basically lives in there. It's my place to stash her, nap her, let her fall asleep for bedtime, and recently I've even begun feeding her in there. Don't judge, I carried her inside me for 9 months, she's heavy now to lug around and besides she likes lazing around in her swing. I know it has a shelf life, obviously I won't be feeding her solid foods in there and pretty soon she's going to outgrow it. On that fateful day I will certainly cry. Then my days of lazy momming and her days of what is now becoming known as "Sydney slothing" will be over.


Nathan's baby nickname was Noodle, which is random but cute. This time I've been advocating for "Syd the kid" or "Sydney Bean" because "Sydney sloth" is not gonna work out.

Poor Sydney. Yesterday my husband and I were discussing how cute she is these days. So smiley and happy. When she was born, it honestly could have gone either way. She was a tough newborn. I know that's terrible to say, but it's okay, the reality is not every baby is cute and lovably quiet. Most of them look weird and constantly scream. And Syd had a lot to live up to because Nathan happened to have been a pretty joyful and good looking baby. Not even 1 minute into the conversation my husband stated accusingly that I had said our daughter looked like a sloth. I'm glad he wasn't home when I espoused the virtues of future brow waxing to my 5 month old. While this accusation was not entirely untrue, please allow me to explain.


I was shopping for Valentine's Day things at Target and they had a promotion. Buy 3 cards and get a free Valentine's stuffed animal. I got Nathan some chocolates, but Sydney doesn't eat chocolates nor does she even really understand holidays or presents so I figured I'd get 3 holiday cards and give Syd the free stuffed animal. My choices were panda or sloth. I immediately picked up the panda and put it in my cart. Sloth was such an odd choice, although on second thought so was panda. But I guess people who get free stuffed animals shouldn't really complain about the strange selection. Just as I was about to leave the card aisle, I took a parting look at the sloth. For some reason it seemed really cute and I made the impulsive decision to swap the panda out and take the sloth home.


When I gave everyone their Valentine's gifts, my husband was confused. "What is this thing?," he asked. Didn't they have any cuddly dogs? I explained that the tag said it was a sloth, and while I had no idea why this was apparently a Valentine's thing, it was sorta cute and actually kinda looked like Sydney. Big round face. Big eyes. Maybe that's why I felt so compelled to bring it home with me. This weird animal sorta looked like my baby. We took photos and had a little laugh about it and then the sloth got tossed on the large pile of other stuffed animals nobody plays with in my house yet and was not thought of again until yesterday.


Josh has begun periodically googling images of sloths and saying "look, that's our daughter." Then randomly texting them to me throughout the day.

I am clearly not letting our daughter's nickname become sloth. Even though Josh is working hard at making it stick, and apparently this animal is having a moment. Everywhere I go I see sloth clothing at Carters, Target, Boden, Children's Place, I get ads about sloths served up to me on Facebook and Instagram, and you can even make your own sloth at Build-a-Bear. When did this become a thing? Who knew that the free animal I stumbled into at Target would be so on trend and spark such interest in my house. But when she's older we all agree, nobody's going to tell her any of this happened right? She looks so peacefully unaware swinging away in her swing right now. And I just googled "swinging sloths" and apparently they like to swing, and now I'm down the rabbit hole... send help...



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