• J Mess


My mom brain is in full effect lately.

Every day I spent half my time in what I liked to call my “pumping oasis.” My little private room at work where the milking happened. The struggle between working and my ultimate job of providing food for my baby was real, yo. And that stress caused the dairy to fall upon hard times. I got less milk. I stressed about it. The stress led to less milk. Rinse. Repeat. Tragic ending as the hometown dairy suffered an early closure in favor of easier (yet not cheaper) formula imports from the supermarket. End scene.

I was so stressed out about this cycle of diminishing milk, that I spent more and more time pumping at work. Which was difficult to do when people expected me to be in back to back meetings, and actually doing work, and I would have rather been in my oasis watching “Snatched” on HBO Go. Some people look at photos of their child or watch videos of waterfalls to get their milk flowing, I preferred to lose myself in a bad comedy.

Pirates of the Caribbean: volume 250 was really, really, bad in case you’re wondering.

About 20 minutes into “Snatched,” right when Amy and Goldie got kidnapped, I realized I had a meeting in 15 minutes. So I collected my milk in the cooler bag, went back upstairs, and put the milk in the common fridge. Usually I packed it up for the day with the ice packs and took it with me back to my desk, but this particular day I was concerned it was too much time out of the fridge since I had a meeting. Then I got sidetracked by the hundreds of things I needed to be doing while I was hoping bad humor would result in tons of lactation. Next thing I knew, I was gathering my things to head to the meeting, because from there I had to go straight to the train or I wouldn’t make it to daycare.

If my office was any farther than the frantic, 7 minute, 6 block sprint to Penn Station, this working thing would have been a hard no.

It took me literally until I was in the car halfway to daycare to realize what I’d done. Wait for it... I LEFT MY MILK IN THE FRIDGE AT WORK. I knew this was an eventuality. It was bound to happen and in all honesty I’m shocked it hadn’t happened before. I laughed about it every night as I took my milk out of the cooler bag and put it in the fridge at home. HA HA how bad would that be if you forgot all your milk at work? Well, my friends, the answer is very, very bad. That’s how bad. BAD. I quickly scenario planned, first scanning through all my coworkers in my mind to see who lived the closest to me that could maybe bring the milk to Long Island. Then contemplated not sending my son to daycare the next day and trying to stockpile milk over the weekend to make up the deficit until Monday when I could go get my milk at work. I wondered if the universe was trying to tell me something and I should just give up and switch to formula. Then I made the call. I had no choice. It needed to be done. “Hey babe, can you go to my office on your way home and pick up my breast milk?” Really didn’t think I’d ever say that sentence…

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