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EAT OR NO EAT

A very un-fun game show we play every night at meal time. There is no winner.


I love to eat. It's apparently what my husband liked most about me when we first met, which is odd because the running family joke is that he just sniffs his food and only eats nuts and berries. I devour food. He just stares at it. When we used to order take out, I'd be finished before he even sat down on the couch. Our son is an exact mix of both of us. Some days he would eat me out of house and home to the point that I was literally panicked I'd run out of things to give him, and other days the floor eats everything.


It's an enigma to me. His eating is completely inconsistent. I can't figure it out. When I'd pick him up at camp this summer, the teacher would say, "he's starving, he needs more food. He ate everything." So the next day I'd send even more food and I'd pick him up and she'd say the same thing. One day I sent enough food for 6 children and apparently he ate it all and still needed an additional snack. I don't know if it's being around other kids who are also eating, but at camp, my son ate like a trucker.


Breakfast? Dinner? With me? Not so much.

I'm actually starting to get a complex, maybe it's me he doesn't like to eat around. Maybe I'm a bad dinner date. Because every meal time we share together becomes a frustrating and unfun experience... for me. My mom keeps telling me, relax, don't make eating a stressful time for him. FOR HIM? I'm pulling my hair out here making 500 dinners, while he looks me dead in the eye and drops the food I've slaved over right off the side of the high chair. Welcome to toddlerhood, right?


So now every night we play the riveting "Eat or no eat." Nathan is the only contestant. Tonight's grand prize is a full stomach and a happy mom!! Come on down, it's time to play, EAT. OR. NO. EAT! Get excited people, because tonight, like every night, we'll be featuring the largest buffet on the East coast. A virtual smorgasbord of every food imaginable. Forget the Golden Corral, this is where it's at. The first item on the menu is... sweet potato! Peeled, sliced, oiled, salt and peppered and then baked to a delicious crispy outside yet soft, supple interior, these have been a former favorite, but tonight, it's anyone's guess. This could be the most dramatic dinner EVER. The first piece up... is... eaten! And the next... is played with, held over the side of the high chair... will he? won't he? and then eaten! The suspense is palpable. And the last... is thrown. Round one over.


Let's be strategic here. We could go straight to the strawberries which are almost always a sure thing, but this kid needs to eat something other than fruit. We could gamble on the turkey meatball but that is a long shot. Alex, I think we'll take pasta for the daily double! (Audience: YEA PASTA! YESSS!) Pasta, not an overly complex dish to prepare, a little overcooked because young Nathan still has no teeth. Don't even think about adding any sauce, not worth the mess and he's not into it. So we go with the straight wagon wheels. First piece is... eaten! Second piece is... eaten! Wait, wait... what is he doing? I can't believe what I'm seeing. Is he taking it out of his mouth? This is unprecedented folks. And, oh my he's putting it back in! The piece was eaten, uneaten, and then eaten again. We've never seen anything like this. This kid really likes to keep you guessing. That was intense, wouldn't you say so? Who knows what he'll do next!


Well that's it for this episode! Tomorrow he'll probably eat his dinner, my dinner, and the cat's dinner! You just never know unless you tune in! So until then, see you next time on EAT OR NO EAT! Remember, to help control the pet population have your pets spayed or neutered!...

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