• J Mess


Good luck prying it out of my cold dead hand.

My son is very adaptable. I consider myself very lucky in that regard. He transitioned to the crib like a champ. He transitioned to formula like a champ. He transitioned to whole milk and a sippy cup like a champ. He transitioned to daycare like a champ. But even with all of that in mind, we're quickly approaching a milestone I've been dreading for a while. The de-binky-fying of our lives. I fear it is not going to go nearly as smoothly as all of the other changes. Why do I say that? Well, because I tried to take it from him while he was playing the other day and he went berserk. I also tried to put him in the car while not realizing "car binky" was inside the house, and he lost his mind and cried the whole way to daycare. Clearly I'm going to need a gentler strategy than cold turkey.

At our 15-month visit, the doctor said all pacifiers have to go at 18 months. He recommended on the morning of his 18-month birthday, waking up, collecting them all (which could honestly take weeks because they are all over our house and lost in places I'll find when Nathan is 12), putting them in a pot, and melting them down. Wow. Judging from my prior experiments, if I did it this way, there'd be a lot more meltdowns in my house. Mine and Nathan's. I assumed he was being overdramatic, and this was not the gentler strategy I was hoping for, but it was clear his way really meant no more. Pacifiers are apparently very polarizing. Who knew.

I didn't start him on one, but I didn't fight it either. They gave him one in the hospital when he was born and he seemed to like it, but when we got home, our baby nurse was vehemently anti-pacifier. Unfortunately for her, I was vehemently anti-screaming. So when Nathan would get going, I'd plug him right up. Baby nurse was not pleased, but baby nurse was going home in 2 weeks and this was my reality. So pacifier won out. And I loved it in Costco when he'd start screaming. Or in the car. Or at a restaurant. And he loved it everywhere and anywhere. So much so, that in almost every photo, he is rocking it. It had kinda become his thing.

This is his signature look. Kim Kardashian has the nude lip. Nathan has the paci mouth.

Some children never take to pacifiers. But that doesn't mean you won't have other issues like finger or thumb sucking. Which to me seem harder to break because at least the pacifier isn't attached to Nathan's body. My brother was an avid thumb sucker. I was a pacifier lover. So much so, that my parents accidentally purposefully lost mine one day. What do I mean by that? We were in a department store and I dropped my pacifier on the floor. When they realized, they freaked out and went back to look for it fearing the worst. Miraculously they recovered it, but decided that they would tell me they couldn't find it and see if I'd be okay. And if I wasn't, at least they'd found it. This story makes me seriously wonder how old I was when this occurred, because Nathan wouldn't understand any of that reasoning right now. So I was probably more like 8, than 18 months.

I was reminded of this story when we were in Target the other day and we looked down and Nathan was without his "kitty paci." Sheer panic set in. WHERE IS KITTY????, I all but yelled. Josh looked terrified, although not because kitty was missing, we have 4,000 pacifiers in our life and Nathan doesn't have a favorite. In fact, I'm an equal opportunity paci taker. If you've got new extra pacis to give away for free, I don't care what color they are. We've got blue, green, even pink, and Nathan seems to think they all taste different. Josh was terrified because Nathan was screaming, I was having a mental break, and now he had to retrace all our steps around Target to find kitty... and if he did not return with kitty... he'd better go straight to the aisle where they sell kitty and get an immediate replacement paci just in case. Because in T-minus 25 days I don't think the "hey bud, all your pacifiers seem to be missing, we looked for them everywhere but we couldn't find them... (because they're becoming liquid inside a pot right now)" conversation is going to end well...

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